Broken Hearts and Wedding Rings
by The Homestuck Rambler
Summary: VictorianStuck. Equius and Nepeta have been the best of friends forever. However, when wedding arrangements are made, heart break can only occur. For Nepeta has fallen in love with a different man- Karkat Vantas. And these dreams are only crushed when Equius finds out whom he has to marry. Or are they?
1. Visiting Nepeta

**(A/N) Hello everyone! I origanally posted this about a week ago, and i got some fantastic reviews and fabulous followers. However though, i got one review from a know-it-all who's account was made to only critizise poor writer's hard work. He mentioned the pettiest rule ever that i may of broke and just as i was about to edit it, he reported and deleted my story -_- i have edited it and uploaded. I hope to post the third chapter soon. I'm sorry everyone. Thank you for bieng anyways:**

**This is Victorianstuck and the pairings will be:**

**Equius and Nepeta- Pale**

**Nepeta and Karkat- Flushed ( one sided for now) Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

The cool spring air whips in my black hair, my ponytail swaying. The cold, rain misted air seems refreshing as I make my way to my cousin's house to visit a very close friend of mine.

My name is Equius Zahhak and I am going to visit my dear friend Nepeta Leijon. She is a servant to my cousin, Gamzee Makara and she works in the stables, caring for the horses and any other animals that the Makara's may have. She has been working there since she was thirteen. She is now 18 and I am 19. We have been very close friends since we were little children, her mother once worked for your family's household and when she gave birth to Nepeta, my Maid raised her and I would play with her and give her my reading books and old toys that I no longer held interest with.

It was only when she had no other use to my father did she go to work for my Uncle, much to my dismay. However, I have always visited her to keep the strong friendship that we shared.

I now stand by my Uncle's mansion and knock onto the indigo doors. I always feel uneasy when I have to interact with the Makara's directly. I always feel unworthy even though my family is just as rich as theirs and that they ARE my relatives after all. I just always feel like I have to make an impression.

A maid answers the door, and recognising me, bows and lets me in, telling me that she would alert my Uncle about my arrival. I walk through the Indigo hallways until I reach the gardens.

And that's when I see her. She is currently grooming the mane of a cream coloured mare, humming a little tune to herself. She has her short, light brown hair tickling her shoulders and she wears a cute little brown dress with an olive apron which usually holds the animal's treats.

She sees me approaching and she places the brush in her apron and excitedly squeals my name and runs towards me, an overly happy smile splitting her face almost in half. She almost tackles me to the ground with a hug, and I hug her back, her short height making her reach just my chest.

"Hello Nepeta", I say, "how have you been?

"Oh, I've been fine thank you Equius!" she replies, grinning up at me. She removes her arms from me and takes my hand, leading me to the stable in which she previously was before I arrived. I love horses and whenever I visit Nepeta, she always lets me groom them and give them treats. She hands me the brush from her apron and I groom the mare's silky cream mane.

"So how have things been around here, Nepeta?"

"Oh not too bad thanks." She replies but I can hear the sense of sadness in her voice. I turn to her and see that her expression is one of sadness. I already know what is bothering her.

She had fallen in love with another servant working at the Makara household and he had been oblivious to her feelings, no matter how hard she tried. This frustrated her immensely and even though she had these feelings for this man, who she told me his name was Karkat Vantas,for so long but the present time made this even more frustrating. Both myself and Nepeta were at the age where our parents were to find a suitable marriage partner for us. She had heard rumours that Gamzee was thinking of hiring a new stable worker in which he was very good friends with. She knew that the Makaras would have to marry her off or she would be on the streets.

"It's about that boy isn't it?" I ask.

Her head drops and she rushes into my arms. I let her cry a little as I pet her hair.

She sniffles and says into my chest," They're going to get rid of me, Equius. I don't want to be on the streets. And I don't want to live without Karkat. Or you."

"There only rumours, Nepeta. But if they do leave you unemployed, i will have a few words with my Father. You could live with us again if you wish."

She looks up at me, her green eyes glazed with tears. "R- Really?"

I nod and smile at her, reassuring that no matter what, I would be there for her. The mare that I was previously grooming nuzzles Nepeta's cheek which makes her giggle, clearing the sad emotions away and replacing them with her child- like happiness. She feeds it a sugar cube from her apron and she pets it as it chews and swallows the treat.

"Has your Father begun any...plans, for you?" the small girl asks. I think for a moment. He has said about it before but never said about a definite plan. I don't like the idea of my own father planning on who I would spend the rest of my life with, however I like to obey my father, so whatever plan he has for me, I will go along with it for his sake.

"No, but he probably is trying to find someone."

" Well i bet whoever he chooses will be puurfect fur you!" she adds with a reassuring smile. Nepeta has always loved animals, but cats specifically so she always makes silly little cat puns. It's a quirk about her that almost everyone loves.

I adjust my blue waistcoat and peer at my wristwatch. It reads the time 12:15. I tell Nepeta that it is time for me to leave and both of us reluctantly say our goodbyes and I head back home.

* * *

When I arrive at home, I can hear my father talking with another man, a guest, in his office. As I walk closer, I recognise the deep growly voice of my Uncle. I gulp and knock on the closed door. My father answers it and stairs down at me.

"I'm back from visiting Nepeta, Father." I tell him. I start to walk away but my father stops me.

"Boy, your Uncle and i have been discussing your future," he grabs my shoulder and leads me into the office, my uncle dressed in black and Indigo, "More specifically your wedding arrangements."

My Uncle grins menacingly at me. "Yes boy," he says in a threateningly deep voice," I have found you a wife. One you know VERY WELL. A PEASANT, Nepeta Leijon.

Suddenly, my heart sinks.

**(A/N) First chapter- done! Thanks for reading and please leave a review, i would love to read them ^u^ Rambler-out!**


	2. Marriage?

**(A/N) Thank you everyone for the great reviews and two followers i got! :D i love you all! Seriously, it means a lot. Especially for my first FanFic- wow! So here's your reward! Decided to tease you with a shorter chapter, but next time I'll try to make it longer. Warnings- This has human GHB so prepare for a few swears, but not too many. Thanks again everyone! Enjoy.**

* * *

My heart sinks. No, it stops. Nepeta? My best friend? I couldn't, no! Before I know it, my eyes are wide and my jaw is ajar. I can't believe what my Uncle is telling me.

"What's with the FACE, BOY?" My Uncle growls, slightly angry. Not wanting to anger one of the most dangerous men I knew, I closed my mouth and tried to calm my shocked expression.

I had to refuse it. I had to. Nepeta was like a sister to me, I couldn't marry her! And what about Nepeta. Does she know? And when she does find out, it would break the innocent girl's heart, knowing that she couldn't be with Karkat, the servant who made her squeal and blush whenever she saw him. And also, I thought all the classes lower than me, apart from Nepeta, where revolting and DEFINATLY not marriage material for a high class man like myself.

I decided to risk my head, and said," I can't marry Nepeta."

The two men's faces went from smiling calmly to completely blank, then confused, then angry. My father was the first to question me, "Why not boy? You will marry whoever I choose."

"Father, I cannot marry because we are too close. She is like a sister to me-"

"So? That's why your uncle and i chose her. The perfect pair." He said, interrupting me.

"But father, she is a lower class!"

"I don't care, son! We will go to your Uncle's mansion tomorrow to alert her of the wedding." He said with a grin that made my stomach turn. My Uncle rose from his chair and walked to me, glaring down from his shocking height. "I heard what you and that PEASANT were talking about you LITTLE BRAT. The so called rumours are MOTHERFUCKING true. My son wants to hire a new stable worker but feels in his PATHETIC heart that because she's worked for us for so long, he doesn't want her in the MOTHERFUCKING STREETS!" He bellowed at me. I looked to the side of him to look at my father. He had a small, smug grin on his face. He knew. My Uncle continued.

"And because you two are SUCH GOOD FRIENDS your father and I decided that she would be PERFECT FOR YOU." He grinned menacingly and my father gave me a smile that read, _what now?_

I couldn't protest and say that she was in love with someone else. Especially as it was another servant. They didn't know about this, and it was extremely forbidden. Almost as much as it was for a servant to have a relationship with their master.

I dropped my head in defeat and my Father chuckled in victory. As him and my uncle left the room, he patted my shoulder and said, "Prepare your best clothes, Equius. Tomorrow, were going for a special visit."

They then left the room, leaving me in the empty office. I can't believe it. I have to marry my best friend. At one point i will be expected to have children with her.

I then try to think about Nepeta. She will never be able to have her true love interest. I feel terrible, a hole of guilt taking resident in my heart. I feel like I've taken that way from her. It's my entire fault.

* * *

I lie in bed that night, staring at my ceiling. I can't sleep. All I can think about is the pure shock and sadness in little Nepeta's face. It destroys me. Scenarios of tomorrow run in my head like a twisted film that won't stop replaying. I have to prepare her. But how? Sneak out? I could, but that would be risky. I would have to leave before my father did the next morning.

I roll onto my side, and think, _"Oh Nepeta, why has it come to this? If only there was some way we could stop this and then we both would be free. I could find love for myself, and you would have a chance to tell Vantas how you feel. It's all my fault."_

A tear runs down my face as I fall into a restless sleep, thinking about the hell that awaits Nepeta and I tomorrow.


	3. Breaking the news

**(A/N) Thank you so much for all my followers! Mama's so proud. Sorry for bieng late with this, i hope this makes up for my abscense. I LOVE YOU ALL!**

* * *

I wake up the next morning, my face stiff from tears. I remember what i have to do and jolt upright and swing my legs over the side of my bed. I scramble around for some clothes and end up wearing a casual top over my pyjama bottoms. I drape my trench coat around me and pad out of my bedroom. I silently creep around the big blue house in which i live until i get to the door. I find the keys in the kitchen and slip out the door to find my best friend.

* * *

It took a while to get there, but when i reach my Uncle's mansion i feel physically sick. I now see my Uncle and my Father in a completely different way: cold-hearted and cruel. I feel like a dirty peasant doing this, but I scrambled around and manage to climb over fences to reach the gardens without getting caught. I know where Nepeta sleeps- she said the stable workers and the gardeners sleep in the hay in the roof of the stables with a few blankets and pillows. I do hope to let her sleep in more comfortable places, like a real bed, however it's saddening to think that she will only experience that if she marries me.

With a sigh, I tread down to the stables and create a crack of light by opening the door. The sun is only just beginning to rise and I know that I can't stay long otherwise the maids at home will panic when they discover my empty bed. I walk in and hear the soft breathing of many servants sleeping above me. I stay quit so as to not wake anybody from their hard-earned slumber. I climb up a ladder that leads up to the hay- beds and look around.

I'm shocked at how many people are stuffed into this tiny place. I look around at the sleeping bodies before I recognise a familiar one. A small, petite female body is nestled in some hay in the corner. I crawl over to her, careful not to awaken anyone else. When I reach her, I have second thoughts. She seems so peaceful and happy in her sleep, like nothing bad could ever happen. I'm about to take away that innocence.

She must have sensed me watching though, as she stirs and twists to look at me. Her green eyes flutter open and she gives me a look of confusion and tiredness.

"E-Equius? What are you doing here?" She whispers sleepily.

" Wake up Nepeta," i say softly, trying to hold back my sadness," There is something extremely important i must tell you."

I lean back to let her sit up and she does, rubbing her eyes and yawning. I take her hand and lead her to the ladder, letting her crawl down first. Once we are both on the ground, i hug her- the embrace expressing all the sorrow i am about to give to her. She hugs back, probably very confused.

" Equius?!" she squeals," This isn't like you! What's happened?"

I pull back, a tear rolling down my cheek. Her face is distorted to a really confused expression and turns into a shocked one as she seems me cry. This is the first time she's seen me cry. She wipes it away with her thumb and holds my face, her small fingers only wrapping around to caress my jaw.

Her eyes plead me to explain. Her lips quiver, threatening to join me in the tear shedding.

" I know who i have to marry." I mumble. Her face lightens up and her hands relax from my face.

"That's fantastic though! Who is it, Equius?" I peer up at her face. She is happy and excited. Would she stay like that after i tell her who it is? Probably not.

"My Father and Uncle have chosen you to be my wife." I say, the words paining me like a sword to my heart. My head drops as more tears silently roll down my already damp cheek.

I can't look up at her but she's been still for a while. I look up into her eyes and she is in shock. Her face mirrors the one that i made when i was told i was to marry her. It's heart breaking.

She stammers and her lip is quivering.

" I'm so sorry, Nepeta. I tried to stop them but they ignored me. I hate myself for this, it's all my fault and if i could change it i would, but i can't! I can't stand up to my Father or my Uncle, they would beat me to a pulp. Please, don't be scared, we can get through this, we'll stop the wedding somehow! I-"

She cut off my tearful plea with nothing but a...**KISS**. A soft kiss that seemed slightly rough with the force. I was so shocked i almost fell backwards. What about the Vantas boy? Did she WANT to be married after all? What on earth was going through that small girl's head?

When she parted from my lips she looked at me sadly.

" Nepeta!" I gasped," I thought you loved the Vantas boy! And that you were appalled by the wedding plans!"

She holds her arm and looks to the floor, embarrassed with herself. "I'm sorry Equius. I'm so confused. I do love my Karkitty but, he never notices me. And you have always been there for me. Were so close and a small part of me did hope that i would be chosen for you. I've seen Master Makara inspecting me. I'm sorry, I'm so selfish. I just don't really know any more Equius. I told Karkat that i liked him yesterday. He just laughed at me." I can hear her sniffle slightly. At this point, where both crying and now holding each other, our confused heads spinning at the recent events.

We hold eachother until the stable door slams open and we are blinded by the morning sun. It's only when the person standing by the door speaks, does my heart stop.

**"WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE?!"**

* * *

**(A/N) next chapter will be in Nepeta's POV to help explain some stuff. sorry for the tease ;p**


	4. Ended in Tears

**(A/N) Thanks for bieng patient everyone! The following Chapter will be in Nepeta's POV and it's also her side of Chapter 3. And italics will be flashbacks. Thanks again for reading!**

* * *

That evening as I climb the ladder to the hay beds I share with the other workers like the animal keepers (like myself) and gardeners i think about my conversations i had with Equius earlier that day. It was exciting that he would be getting a marriage partner soon, but i couldn't feel as excited for him as i wanted to. If he was going to get a wife soon, it meant that i would soon have to get a husband. I knew that the Makaras wanted to replace me. It was obvious.

Earlier that week, some posh looking gentlemen had come to inspect the stables, and we had to work extra hard to clean them to make them look good as new. I look at my still blistered hands at the memory. And these particular gentlemen talked to Master Makara about how much money he was willing to give them for the "new stable boy". I feel bad for eavesdropping, but i couldn't help myself. There are four of us stable workers, including myself, and they are all much stronger and taller than i am. I'm not the strongest of servants and I am defiantly not the tallest. If one of us were going, it would be me.

But i do work my hardest. I love looking after the animals, there like friends to me. I talk to them sometimes, telling them all my secrets and of all the tragic romance stories i make up while i work.

But as i lay down on my hay mattress, I realise that some of those stories were about my own tragedy- A servant girl who had fallen in love with another servant, whom she could never have, and her confused feelings for her best friend. Wait. That's right; I had developed confusing feelings towards Equius. He was my best friend and he has always been there for me, no matter what. Whenever he visits, a firework goes off in my heart and I love to talk to him, to see him, just to be with him makes my day so much better. And my Karkitty, i have always loved him. He seems angry and grouchy at first, but i have seen his soft, romantic and sweet side. He's caring and loyal towards the people he cares about. I want that side all to myself. But he never really looks at me. He has to keep everyone in order, he's kind of like the boss to all us servants, but gets bossed around even more by the Makaras.

I told him a few hours ago.

_I swept the stable floor, moving a couple of stray strands of hay into a corner. It was starting to go dark; the sun was setting slowly, leaving a beautiful orangey shade in the clouds. The gardeners were starting to pack up their equipment and the other animal keepers and I were securing the animal pens, ready for the animals to sleep in._

_"Alright, everyone! Finish up!" It was Karkat, my crush. He wore a candy red jacket and black trousers, with a white shirt. His black messy hair waved ever so slightly as the spring wind blew into it. I simply stared at him. He was so gorgeous, so handsome. He knew what he was doing and wasn't afraid to talk back to someone who disagreed with him. He was the leader when our Masters weren't around. He caught me staring and he gave me a stern look._

_"What the fuck are **YOU** looking at?" Oh god, he's walking towards me. I can't move. I just grip the handle of my broom tighter, as if that would command me to walk._

_He's standing in front of me, hands on his hips. He must be around my age, or at least very short for he only stands a few centimetres taller than me._

_"Anything you wanna tell me?" He asks annoyance in his voice. I remember what Equius told me earlier. That I have to tell him soon._

_"Um, yes. There is actually, Sir." I stare into his dark, almost red, brown eyes, self consciousness spreading through my being. He seems surprised, but irritated._

_"Spit it out then, Stable girl."_

_"This will sound silly, and you hardly know me, but I've known you ever since you started work here. I think you're amazing. The way you look, the way you keep us all in line. It's incredible- so much hard work for one man to do. And you do it so well. What I'm trying to say here, is that I love you and i know it's not really allowed, but, I don't think any rule will come in the way of how i feel for you."_

_I study his face, and it's currently blank, but it soon changes as i smile shyly at him. He smiles. But not a kind one. A mocking smile, one you make when someone says a funny joke. He laughs. **HE LAUGHS**._

_"Oh my god, you weird girl! You love me? I don't even know your name! Do you even know mine? I wouldn't break **ANY** rules that the Makara's would set. You really thought that i would like you back? **BAHAHA!** Sorry, weirdo. I've got a job to do, go and do yours."_

_He turns and walks away, chuckling to himself. He leaves me, clutching my broom as if it was all i had, and crying quietly, wishing he wouldn't break my heart in such a manner. Hell, he ripped it out of my chest, took a bite out of it and stomped it to dust on the ground._

I sob quietly so as to not to draw any attention to myself. I loved him. I thought he would feel the same. But then a thought enters my mind- Equius. If he were here, he would comfort me, hold me, and tell me things would be ok and that he never deserved you in the first place. That I was too good for him. I smile at the thought, imagining Equius lying beside me, holding me. I imagine him kissing me comfortingly. **WAIT! WHAT?** I must be simply lovesick, that's all. I can't have romantic feelings towards my best friend! I couldn't have just thought that.

I need to sleep it off.

* * *

In my sleep, i sense a presence looming over me. It wakes me from my slumber and as i open my blurry eyes, i look up to see my best friend looming over my once sleeping body.

"E-Equius? What are you doing here?" I ask, surprised but still sleepy. Am I dreaming?

He tells me to wake up and that there was something important he needs to tell me. He lets me climb down the ladder, carefully so as to not wake the others, and he follows me down, obviously not familiar with ladders. Once we are both down he hugs me, startling me slightly and fully waking me up. This was not the Equius i knew. The big, strong Equius. I frantically ask him what's wrong and hold his face in my tiny hands. What he tells me shocks me. I was just thinking about romantic things towards Equius, which I classed as silly lovesickness, and now he's here, standing in front of me, claiming that we are being forced to marry. I don't know what to do; my mind is a hurricane of disaster. I don't even know what I'm doing when I lean up and cram our lips together.

"Nepeta! I thought you loved the Vantas boy..."

I try to explain to my best friend what on Earth is wrong with me. I explain how Karkat simply laughed when I confessed my feelings to him and how Equius had always been there and how fucking confused I was by everything. My explanation turns into a sob fest, from the both of us, so we simply hold each other until we are stable.

But this turns even worse when the stable doors creak open and Master Makara stands there, his shadow looming over us. I don't know what will happen, but whatever it is, it will end in even more tears.


	5. Green Dress and Blue Tuxedo

**(A/N) Hey guys, sorry for my absence. I had Christmas to prepare and loads of weird shit happened,so,,,,,yeah. I've left a link so you can hopefully see the picture i had in mind for Nep's dress. If it doesn't work just P.M me or something. Happy New Sweep everybody!**

* * *

I peer from Nepeta's shoulder and there standing in the doorway of the stable is my Uncle. Oh god. God no, not this, not now! Why is he here? I realise my uncle was probably thinking the same thing about me. I feel Nepeta shaking in my arms. I can't breathe again. Why didn't I stay in bed?

His giant- like form strides over to where we are standing and he pulls me away from Nepeta. She scrambles to the floor, almost paralyzed with fear. That makes two of us. He clutches my collar in his giant fist and drags me to look into his face. I'm so close I can even smell his awful breath.

"What the **MOTHERFUCK** do you think you're doing here?" He spits. My lip quivers and I simply stare at him, wishing Gamzee was here to stop his Father from killing me with fear.

**"MOTHERFUCKING ANSWER ME, ZAHHAK!"**

"I wanted t-to tell N-Nepeta about the w-wedding first so she was p-prepared." I manage to stutter out. I squeeze my eyes shut, ready for whatever he was going to do to me.

I feel him move his mouth to my ear and whisper, "That's what I was just about to do, motherfucker. You think I'm incapable of doing that?" I shake my head violently, my eyes still screwed shut.

"Now, you better not motherfucking mess this up you piece of **SHIT!"** he shouted the last part and tossed me aside. He grabbed Nepeta by her shaking arm and lifted her off her feet, dragging her out of the stables. Some of the workers upstairs had woken to my Uncle's shouts and I could see their eyes peering through the straw, but too terrified to come down.

In the doorway he turned to look at me- rage burning in his eyes. He glared while he told me, "Get your sorry ass up and follow me. You're going to the **MOTHERFUCKING** guest room. Don't even **MOTHERFUCKING THINK** of getting out of this one." He grinned evilly before turning and slowly walking away. The look of terror and desperation on Nepeta's face was heartbreaking. Why was this happening?

I got up to follow them, holding the arm of my best friend that wasn't in the clutches of my evil Uncle. I stroked her hand and she looked at me. Tears glazed her beautiful green eyes, many of them spilling down her face. She mouthed the four words that broke me- "You shouldn't have come."

Her lip quivered and she let out a small sob. She moved her feet so she was walking with us instead of being dragged along. When we got inside of the Indigo mansion, Gamzee was there. He gave me a look of "What the hell is going on" I simply shook my head as to say to stay out of it. Uncle stopped and looked at his son. "Gamzee" he boomed "Take your cousin to a guest room and lock him in there. He's not to be motherfucking let out. **YOU HEAR ME BOY?"**

Gamzee nodded and he hesitantly gripped my arm, gently tugging me away from my future fiancée. I looked back at Nepeta and her head dropped, some of her precious tears dripping on the carpet.

Gamzee lead me upstairs, dropping my arm and not touching me as we were out of sight from his father. "Is marrying the stable girl really that bad, motherfucker?" he slurred," Thought you and her were like, motherfucking besties bro." I flinched at the swearing, reminding me of my uncle. But he seemed truly concerned and gentle and I trusted him. I told him the complications of everything and he was shocked, feeling truly bad for my situation and expression how "un-miraculous" it was.

When we came to a guest room, my cousin took the key out of the keyhole and opened the door for me. "Night-night bro. Things will all up and get better motherfucking soon." And with a smile, he closed the door and locked it.

I decided to sleep this off so I decided to take a small nap, but as i begun to lie down, footsteps began to rattle up the stairs. It was my Uncle's footsteps followed by more dainty and elegant ones. They walked past my room and into another. I heard my Uncle talk to a woman in there before leaving on his own back downstairs. I couldn't hear what he said but I guessed maybe Nepeta was in there. At least she was safe. At this thought, I drifted off.

* * *

When Gamzee unlocks the bedroom door, I wake up and sit up. He looks mesmerized and he smiles widely at me. "Bro, my dad and your dad are downstairs with the stable girl. They want you down there." I get off the bed and walk towards him. I feel the excitement radiating off of him.

"Wow bro. Just, _wow_" he smiles. I know he's not talking about me, so I'm rather dazed as to what he's talking about. I try to pass him, but he suddenly returns from his daydream and holds my shoulders.

"Wait bro. Your stable girl is looking all kinds of motherfucking dressed up and shit. You need to look like that too, bro." He pushes me back into the room and shuts the door behind him.

"Gamzee, I do not understand. You need me to dress smartly for my Father and Uncle because Nepeta is dressed up too?"

"Yeah bro," he laughs, "Now let's see what's in this motherfucking wardrobe"

He passes me and starts rummaging through the wardrobe in the corner of the guest room. He pulls out a very dapper tuxedo set- completely in blue apart from the white button up shirt.

He smiles, silently suggesting it was what i should wear. I'll admit, it was one of the smartest outfits i had seen. I just hoped it would fit.

I walked down the stairs with Gamzee, peering around everywhere to try to steal a glimpse of Nepeta. I had never seen her dressed up and I was sure she would look gorgeous. When I entered the sitting room i saw my Father and My Uncle sitting down, sipping tea. I gulped, what was my father going to say about earlier? But no, both men looked me up and down in admiration.

"Son, you look ever so handsome." My father commented. I was about to thank him, but then I saw Nepeta. She stood on the other side of the room in the most beautiful dress I have ever seen. It was a dress that reached the ground, a beautiful green that matched her eyes. She looked so stunning in it. I couldn't believe my eyes. She gave me a small, shy smile- her face rid of tears and replaced with a tiny blush.

My father cleared his throat behind me and said," Son. Let us leave behind what happened earlier. Don't worry, your Uncle explained the story." He did not seem pleased. But then he continued, "You and Nepeta will be getting married in three weeks. She will stay at our home until the wedding. "

My heart jumped into my throat at the thought of marriage so soon but the nervousness was numbed at the sight of how beautiful Nepeta was. She looked at me too, admiring my suit. I could see the love in her eyes and the loyalty in her smile. I smiled back, feeling a tug in my heart. I didn't know what I was feeling but I knew that I wouldn't mind marrying her so much now.


	6. A letter from an unexpected person

~~~~ 3 weeks later ~~~~

"I now pronounce you, man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Applause ran through my ears as I leant to kiss my wife. Nepeta.

There was still a bottomless pit in my stomach and my knees still felt like jelly. I looked into her green eyes, glazed with the look of happiness. She smiled and I smiled back, glad that all the drama of the arrange marriage was over and we could live together happily as friends. I held her hand and we both looked back at the people who came to our wedding. My friends and family on the left side, clapping with small smiles on their faces, my father at the front. At the right were Nepeta's friends and...well. She never truly knew her family so most of the garden and animal servants were invited to the wedding. We walked down the aisle, hand in hand, Nepeta's dress trailing behind her. She looked so beautiful today. I was just happy that now I could protect her from ever feeling sad again.

And she looked at me, tiny tears pricking her eyes. Small tears started to bloom in my own blue eyes, but not letting them slip down my face, I turned to look where we were walking. Down the aisle and into our new lives.

* * *

~~~~ 3 weeks after the wedding~~~~

Our house was a lovely one. Not as big as the Makara's or Zahhak's but it was certainly the nicest. Living here was just me and Equius and our maid Kanaya who was a good friend of ours. Life was nice, I was given beautiful dresses, treated like a princess and I had my best friend at my side every day. It couldn't be better. My confused feelings had unscrambled themselves- I was slowly getting over Karkat but my feelings for Equius never made sense. I had fallen in love with his friendship but i hadn't fallen in love with him. I knew we would be fine as a posing couple, truly staying friends but it was difficult. People were started to expect us to start a family and it was noticeable that Equius was flustered at this. I don't think either of us truly knows how to feel towards starting a family, let alone actually _doing it_ in the first place. We are very close but I think that having a romantic relationship, or the danger of starting one, worries us both.

The complication only grew more when I received a letter in the post addressed to me from someone I was least expected to hear from.

_Dear Mrs. Nepeta Zahhak,_

_I am probably the last person you expected to hear from, let alone want to hear from. However, I have something I need to get off of my chest. I feel terrible about the way I spoke to you when you confessed your feelings towards me. It was unnecessary and cruel. So I will apologize- I'm terribly sorry. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me then I would feel at peace. _

_If you have forgiven me, then I would like to stay in contact with you. I know you are married to Mr. Sweaty blue pants and he is very protective of you but I have missed your perkiness around the stables. We all have. The new stable boy, Tavros does a good job I guess, but nothing compared to the good work you managed to do every day. And I'm guessing you could be missing some friends from the household too? I hope to keep you in contact with them too. So please, I hope you have found it in your now rich as fuck heart to forgive me. And if you haven't... well I've just wasted fucking hours trying to write all bullshit fancy. _

_Please write back,_

_Karkat Vantas_

My eyes are wide as I read his letter, feeling his emotions almost radiate from the paper. I can tell where he has had to stop to think about his words, or where he has cursed but then scribbled it out. The love I felt for him all those weeks ago flood back into my heart at an alarming rate. Maybe i could write to Karkat and maybe even see him without Equius or anyone else knowing about it. After all, we are supposed to be married. The thought of an "affair" is worrying but incredibly exciting.

I rush to our bedroom to write to him back, bumping into Kanaya carrying some newly washed clothes on my way there.

"Oh Dear Nepeta. What On Earth Has Got You Carelessly Rushing About Like That? Anything I Can Assist You With?" She says with a gentle and proper voice.

"I'm sorry Kanaya. And no, I think I'll be fine on my own thank you."

"Alright Then. But Do Not Hesitate To Ask For My Assistance."

I speed towards my shared room and sit at my vanity mirror. I pull out some paper and ink from one of the drawers and start my letter to Karkat.

_Dear ,_

_I did not expect to hear from you but it has been lovely to do so! I haven't even realised how much I have missed all of you until your letter reached me. _

_May I say Karkat that I forgive you for your actions and I hope we can be good friends? Even though your words broke my heart, a small part of me still has feelings for you but I know that you would never requite them and I understand. I don't mind. Maybe writing as friends is all I need and is all I am asking from you. I know I shouldn't be saying this, as I am already married, but Equius (love your nickname for him) is only a good friend and I hope that is all he sees me as. However, as you can expect, people only see us as a happy couple who love each other so it is extremely difficult. _

_They worst part is the expectation to start children. I don't want to start a family just yet! With Equius or with anyone else for that matter. It's hard Karkat. It's hard and nobody understands. Even though I am thoroughly enjoying this luxurious life, I sometimes wish I was still working in the stables because of all the tension and stress I get. _

_But on a happier note, I am thrilled you are writing to me and I hope to continue. All the best,_

_Nepeta._

I fold the letter into an envelope and tuck it into my dress. When Equius is away at work, I could go to hand deliver it to Karkitty myself. Besides, I don't think Master Makara will give it to him without reading it first. I don't want to risk anything, let alone lose anything else important in my life.

* * *

**(A/N) Sorry for my absence guys, i wanted this to be a "dun dun duuunnn" chapter and so i worked hard for inspiration and look who got it!:D **

**Anyways, I opologize if Karkat is OOC, i wanted the letter to be gentlemanly but still from Karkat. It was hard. I'm not very good at writing Victorianstuck for Karkat so he may be very out of character in the following chapters, so please don't be offended. Once again, thanks for reading guys! I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as i did writing it. :) **


	7. The New Job

The first few weeks of the marriage were difficult, to say the least. It was nice to have friends and family fuss over us and bring us presents, but it would have been nicer if I shared it with somebody I loved, other than my best friend. I loved her, platonically, but that wasn't enough to wash away the sweat I shed from the nervous thoughts that the family filled my mind with. Settling down? Having children? It was all too much.

I thought about Nepeta, how her petite frame could carry a child. She couldn't. She seemed so innocent, so un-touched from the horrors of the world that it was difficult to image her starting a family, with _anyone_ let alone myself.

I had to start a job to support both my house hold and my wife, so I asked my father for suggestions. He owned a race-horse breeding company and asked if I would like to help manage the business. I could just imagine it: Equius Zahhak- Deputy Manager of Zahhak Horses. It was an amazing dream that had recently come true. When I told Nepeta, she was so happy for me, knowing that my love of horses would keep my happiness and interest in the job. I started a week later, wrapping up warm and heading down to the stables. My father was waiting for me there and he smiled, placing a supportive hand upon my shoulder.

" Equius. I am proud of you, son. You've come far in your life and I can see you doing so well here." He spoke with a smile, his grip on my shoulder never moving.

"Thank you, father. I am sure my love for horses will keep me happy here."

"It sure will" He took his hand off of me and walked deeper into the stables, silently suggesting that I follow him. He showed me what I would be required to do and how to do it. Being so close to the four legged animals made me sweat rather rapidly, but for once I didn't really mind. I liked being able to be close to the creatures without being scolded for doing a peasant's job.

The best part of the job, in my opinion, was watching the races. Desperate people would throw money into my hands while shouting the name and/or number of one of the horses and I would give them a ticket. It was fun to watch the hoof beasts sprint and race against one another and I would secretly bet on a horse and would feel high-spirited when it won. It was a tough job separating the money for the winners and losers but there was usually quite a lot of the green paper, which told me that I would be getting most of the money too.

I would come home most evenings smelling of manure and horses, but Nepeta told me that she liked it and the slight scent of hay on my clothes happily reminded her of her previous life at the Makara's.

* * *

** (Nepeta's P.O.V a few weeks later)**

By now, I knew that Equius would be at the race course, probably with his father, so he wouldn't be home until the evening. It was currently 1:35 in the afternoon so I had plenty of time to hand deliver the letter to Karkat. I made double sure that the letter was secure in my jacket pocket and headed out, telling Kanaya that I had gone for a walk.

I reached the Makara's house about a half hour later, walking to the back of the house where i had to climb over many fences and walk through many fields. My heart beat fast when I saw the stables and heard the voices of old friends.

I rushed up so I was leaning against the fence, and i waved to a familiar figure patrolling the gardens. My Karkitty. I call him until he turns around and notices me, his eyes bulging and his mouth widening. He hurries over to me, checking to see that no one saw him.

A small smile tugs at his lips, his hands resting next to mine on the fence. He helps me climb over and he holds me in his arms, gently stroking my hair and murmuring apologies into it. I pull back to look into his tear glossed eyes. I stroke away the tears that have trickled down his face and say," its ok now, Karkat. It's ok."

After our intimate meeting, he compliments me on my appearance and how well I have done financially. I tell him about Equius' new job in which he sneers at. "He should spend more fucking time with you". He says. I say that it doesn't matter and that he has to work to keep the house going.

It turns out that the new stable boy, Tavros, is doing rather well at the stables and is good friends with Mister Gamzee Makara. He can talk to the horses and tame them ever so well and it's almost as if he was born for the job. Good for him, I think- everyone deserves to do something they love for a living.

The conversation soon turns to the letters. I thank him for his friendliness and I receive the letter from my pocket. He follows the paper with curious eyes before I give it to him, our hands fitting perfectly together. He stuffs the letter carefully into his trouser pocket and thanks me for forgiving him.

When I'm about to head back home, he hugs me and plants a small kiss on my locks and whispers,"Please come back soon". "I will." I promise.

When I get home, I'm flustered and breathless. My heart was pounding faster than a horse's hooves and my head was filled with mush. He had held me, kissed me and begged me to return sometime. I place my hand on my heart, feeling it pulse into my palm. He had caused that thumping. I loved it. It felt wicked of me to have these feelings towards Karkat while I was married, but Equius was only a friend, so...it can't be that bad? Can it?! VnV


	8. The Girl In The Gardens

** (A/N) First of all, yes i am aware of the update and even though i do ship all the ships shown in this story, none of them are true OTP'S of mine, so please don't bash the story just because your shipping wall doesn't match the ships shown. Thank you, you know i love you all. **

* * *

** (Karkat's P.O.V)**

I watch her walk away, the skirt of her dress swaying around her feet as she walked. When I could no longer see her, I reached for the letter in my pocket. I hold it in my hands as I lean against the fence, the wooden boards pressing against my back. I slide my finger under the seal and release the paper from the envelope it was in. I smile one of my very rare smiles as I read it, making a mental note of how graceful Nepeta's handwriting is. I beam with happiness that she still held feelings for me and that she missed me. I regret saying what I said to her now. I promise myself to write her back as soon as I possibly can, but the pang of guilt in my chest keeps reminding me about why I said those horrible things to such a lovely lady:

_The Pyropes. The Makara's worst enemies. Neophyte "Redglare" Pyrope was one of Mister Makara's worst enemies for she had a cheeky way of talking to him and she always acted like she was more upper-class than him, when she was simply just a lawyer and the Makara's were so much more. _

_Her daughters inherited her devilish personality as well, causing hate among the offspring, too. Latula Pyrope, Redglare's eldest daughter didn't necessarily __**hate **__Kurloz, the eldest son, but whenever he was around, she would comment on his faults and his disability, which was the incapability to talk._

_And the youngest daughter, Terezi, who was the same age as Gamzee and myself, had pure black hate for Gamzee, and the feelings were mutual. They would squabble over the simplest things and when people weren't looking, a few fights were sure to happen. And that is where my story is centred. _

_I fucking __**loved**__ Terezi. I hated how she and Gamzee fought, as he was my, as he would say, "best friend." I thought she was so beautiful, graceful and funny. Whenever she and her family visited the house, I would take her to the gardens and show her the flowers, the trees and the animals. Since she was blind from birth, she couldn't fully enjoy the wonders of nature, but I didn't mind describing the scenery to her and letting her feel the petals of the flowers, and the bark of the trees. I even bribed the stable workers to let her stroke the horses. Everything was wonderful. I loved when she would touch my face to work out what I looked like, and how she would giggle when she felt me blushing. She even made up a nickname for me- Karkles. I was her Karkles. _

_But about a week before Nepeta expressed her feelings towards me, all my happiness was taken away from me. The Pyropes had visited again, to discuss new laws, and I had taken Terezi to the gardens just like usual..._

_When I noticed the gold ring on her finger._

"_W-what the fuck is that?" _

"_What?"_

_I hold her left hand, stroking the ring._

"_This!" I say, holding back tears._

"_Oh. My engagement ring."_

"_You're getting __**married**__?! To who?"_

"_Mother arranged a marriage with a wealthy musician. I've met him and he's so cool! His name is Mr. Dave Strider." _

_My heart sank at that moment. This girl, who I loved so dearly, was getting married. I had heard the name Dave Strider a few times. His music was in the record shops and he was quite famous around town. However, a few reporters described him as a quiet man who was a bit of an arsehole. _

_Rage, sadness, then acceptance. _

_But the sadness and rage phases stayed with me for those two weeks. Especially the day Nepeta confessed to me. At the time I thought, how dare she know about love when I had loved Terezi so dearly, and lost her so quickly. How could I come to love somebody when my heart would not work? I'll admit, I had a small crush on the stable worker and had small hopes that her stares were one of admiration. But what i felt for Terezi was strong, and now she was gone. _

Now, I had got over the Pyrope girl and was glad that she had been swept far away so I would hardly see her again. I liked Terezi's friendship but I almost wished I never knew her, so I didn't make the terrible mistake of breaking my dear Nepeta's heart.

Every day I wish I could see Nep in the stables again, gently humming and singing to herself as she worked. She would put smiles onto everyone's face with her enthusiasm and good cheer. I couldn't stop thinking about her when she left to get married- to know that I could never apologize to her and that I would never see her again. I am so relieved that I got her address through Gamzee and some paper from the study. I always keep them in my large pockets now, so I won't risk getting caught and questioned and then probably fired.

I decide to sneak up to the upstairs hay beds in the stable to write my letter in private:

_Dearest Nepeta,_

_Can I call you that? All that formal shit just feels fucking uncomfortable. Anyways, it was so good to see you! You won't even know. I don't want to sound creepy or anything, but you looked so fucking beautiful in that dress and your hair done that way. It really suits you. I missed you Nepeta. _

_When you said that you still had feelings for me in your previous letter, I must admit that I was kinda glad. You see, at the time, I was just getting over my heart being broken too by a lady you may have known as Terezi Pyrope, the girl in the gardens. I couldn't think straight but I had always been interested in you. _

_So what I'm saying is...well...FUCK THIS IS HARD! I know that you are technically married to Equius but, would you like to keep seeing me? I want to hold you in my arms and make everything better. I want to see you smile every day. I love you Nepeta. You're the only thing that makes me smile nowadays and I want to only smile for you. _

_If you don't want to see me in case of Equius knowing, I understand. I'm sorry. _

_All my love, Karkat Vantas_

* * *

** (Equius' P.O.V)**

After a few weeks at the stables, I felt like I was truly settling in- making friends at the races and being accepted. My employees referred to me as " , The Horse Guy" and often commented on how good I was, working alongside my father. The best part of the job was knowing I was bringing home good money. I even managed to buy Nepeta the pet cat she always wanted. It was a snow white cat, probably albino, and had soft fluffy fur. She had named her Pounce, after the way the pawed beast pounced into her arms when I brought her home.

I felt that I was happy that I had become a success in life for being able to have a job I enjoyed that payed for a nice house, a housemaid, and my wife/best friend to be happy. But I knew that this happy families routine would soon fade away when I saw..._her. _

It had been an average working day for me; I was locking the final gate for the horses before the race when a woman rushed up to me, waving some money in her hands. Slightly breathless she said in a thick Japanese accent, "Sir! I forgot to buy ticket! Here, here, money for horse!"

She adjusted her dress and handed me the money. I shuffled through it and found out it was a whopping £150. She smiled and was just about to leave when I said,"Miss, what horse do you wish to bet on? You never said."

"Oh, horse 3, please. My bet on horse three."

"Thank you. And may I get your name? If you win, I need to know your name to give you your prize."

"What?"

"What is your name, Miss?"

"Oh, I apologize. My name is Damara Megido. Goodbye Sir." She said with a wink, before walking back to what looked like her daughter in the crowd.

While the race went on, I couldn't stop looking at this Megido woman and her daughter. The daughter looked around my age and she was beautiful. She had lovely, slightly wavy, long black hair and the most piercing brown eyes. While the race went on, it seemed that she was very disinterested, staring at her shouting and whooping mother every once in a while in disbelief that her mother thought that her chosen horse would run faster at her Japanese commands.

One thing that I found strange though, was that her mother was dressed very finely, a beautiful red dress covering her hourglass figure like a glove and a beautiful red hat that had frills that half covered her pretty face, whereas her daughter was a different story. The younger Megido wore a simple brown dress that looked slightly tattered and torn at the end of the skirt. She wore some expensive looking red jewellery (a blood-red coloured ring and a beautiful necklace) but that was it that showed her wealth. She either wore a lower classed dress on purpose to embarrass her mother, or they were extremely poor and her mother had somehow got a lot of money and hardly spent any of it on her daughter. She could have possibly been a prostitute. Seemed realistic- prostitutes around this part of town were rather popular, and got a good share of money. I didn't wish to ask if she was, for fear I would lose a better, and possibly a good chance of meeting this woman's beautiful daughter.

Wait, what was I thinking?! I was a married man and what would Nepeta think of such foul thoughts? She would be heartbroken to know I had my heart on another woman. But, there she was, so beautiful, so elegant, so perfect. I didn't even care that she was an even lower class than Nepeta, or that she was foreign and probably couldn't understand much English. I fell for her. I couldn't wait until the race was over, to meet her.

* * *

**(A/N) ****With this part of the story, I did NOT IN ANYWAY SHAPE OR FORM mean to be racist or offensive towards Japanese people or those who take up prostitution for a living. I do not mean to stereotype people or cause any harm at all. It was the only thing i could think of, based on the way Damara acts in canon, and the fact that noone apart from Rufioh(who isn't in this story, sorry ladies) understands her language/accent. I will say again, there was no offense or harm meant when I wrote this story, so please don't think i mean to be racist I am not .3. Thank you for reading xxx**


	9. Miss Megido

Their horse didn't win, much to the better's dismay. I think all the younger Megido cared about was going home. Or wherever their next destination would be. I lingered shyly by the two young women, wanting to catch their attention but not quite sure on how. 'Be a man, Equius,' I thought,' Your more higher class than they are. Act like it.'

I tapped the richly dressed Megido on the shoulder and she turned around with a flirty smile.

"Hello, Mister. Can I help you?" She said, with that thick accent.

"Perhaps." I answered, "I am sorry that your horse didn't win."

"Oh, it ok. I can make more" she added with a wink, referring to the money. The younger woman elbowed her relative with an angry and slightly embarrassed expression. Damara simply brushed her off with a flirtatious giggle.

"Mister, ignore my sister. She silly" she giggled. Oh, so it wasn't her daughter. It was her sister. Oops.

Being polite, I held my hand out to the woman and said, "It's a pleasure to meet you. What is your name, may I ask?" "I'm Aradia, Sir." She didn't have the accent her sister did, but it was still very slightly there.

"I'm Equius Zahhak. I partly own this racecourse. I see you weren't enjoying the race that much. Say, what _do _you enjoy doing if it isn't watching a good race?" I ask Aradia while her sister adjusted her dress.

Aradia explained that she enjoyed exploring and making adventures when she was little. She would play in the woods and explore caves, digging up different things that were usually as simple as a bird's skeleton or even a piece of rubbish. But at that age, she would imagine they were historical artefacts. She explained that because of her age, which was 19 (the same age as myself); more was expected of her as a young lady. Because of this, she moved on to reading adventure books about dare-devil explorers who put their life in front of everything to discover something new and to have a thrill. She said that she sometimes helped her father in his shop- a little clock shop. He had showed her how to repair clocks and watches and promised her that he would let her work there and take over the shop whenever he passed away.

"Aradia, stop talking to the nice man, we have to go." Her sister insisted in annoyance.

"I am sorry that I kept you, Miss Megido. I hope to see you another time, Aradia. Please, come to the racecourse tomorrow afternoon. It would be a pleasure to see you and learn more about you" I say, kissing her hand. She blushed a bright red and silently walked away with her sister.

* * *

I felt a little guilty about my arrangements with Aradia, but Nepeta wouldn't find out, surely. I hoped she wouldn't be hurt if she found out in the worst case scenario. Of course she wouldn't find out. She never came to the racecourses and I could crush any lowly beings who dared report me to Nepeta. When I got home, Nepeta and Kanaya greeted me with a delicious warm meal in which I ate faster than usual. I excused myself from the table, kissed Nepeta on her cheek, thanked Kanaya for the meal and retired to my bedroom to work out what I would say to the prostitute's sister when she arrived tomorrow afternoon. Or at least, I hoped she would.

* * *

I walked away with my sister, peering back at as I did so. Why would a man of so much fortune possibly take interest in me? I was dressed in rags compared to Damara. Well, it was mainly the reason that I wouldn't let her buy me _**ANYTHING **_with her whore money. The scarlet necklace I wore around my neck was a birthday gift from my Mother before she died. We walked back to our little cottage just as it began to rain. We got inside and Damara lit the fireplace and lit her everyday cigarette.

"あなたに何をお探しですか? 是非、座って、姉妹/What are you looking at? Come and sit, sister" she told me.

I grabbed another chair and sat beside her, waiting for her to talk. We always talk in Japanese when it's just me and her but in English, she said, "You think you're _real _special don't you, Aradia? Just because a rich man pays you a little attention for the first time?"

"Well, I don't but…"

"I don't care little sis. You can't get far by working at a stupid little clock shop."

"It's fine. I love running Father's shop. It's a decent living, unlike _your _career Damara!"

"You shut your stupid mouth! I'm continuing Mother's work! You're just betraying her for continuing Father's work instead of her's. You know she hated that bastard."

"I just didn't want to be earning money for sex my whole life!"

"At least I can afford nice clothes, pretty things and get all the attention from men as I want! Anyways, I believe that that man will be the start in a new, successful career for you. Get him interested, let him have his way with you, and then make him pay up. Simple as that. Your very pretty, Aradia. You could become very rich if you just took up Mother's and mine profession. Who needs a clock maker anyways?"

I was dumbfounded. I can't believe my sister would say that. Sure, I knew she thought that way but I never thought she would say that to my face. Every single man who simply _looked_ at me, Damara would suggest me 'assisting' them. But no, I didn't want the life of a prostitute. I wanted to live a simple, honest and innocent life. I didn't care for all these riches my sister could afford. It was dirty money. Making and fixing time was the life for me, no matter what Damara said. Even though my mother _did _hate my father, he was the only father I knew. Doctor Scratch was his name.

He had met her in Japan. He was a British soldier when he met my mother. When the war ended, he resumed his previous occupation. He was a pimp. He encouraged my mother to become a prostitute in exchange for his undying love. He gave her two daughters and still forced her to continue her practises. He threatened to kill her if she ever stopped the money coming in. So, when I was only little, she killed herself to get away. In order to avoid suspicion from the police, my father quite his 'job' and started Scratched Clocks, the clock company that is now mine. I couldn't believe Damara when she became a prostitute. Wasn't the trauma from mother enough? She believed she was doing it for mother's honour.

Coming back from the memories, I run to my bedroom without a word, slamming the door behind me. I let a few tears slip, but that was all. I was meeting Mr,Zahhak tomorrow and it would be in the name of friendship and love, not money.


	10. Dearest Karkat

I want to reply to Karkat straight away. I can't believe it, he returned my feelings? His explanation was understandable; I knew what it was like to love someone who couldn't love you back. But that person did love me back now, and I couldn't be happier! Kanaya had delivered the letter to me from the mail, promising that she hadn't read any of it apart from my name on the front. Good. I knew I could trust Kanaya to not read anymore and uncover my horrible secret.

I race once again to my vanity and start to write my reply.

_Dearest Karkat,_

_Of course you can call me that, don't be silly! Aww Karkitty, thank you. Our maid, Kanaya suggested my new outfits and hairstyle so I owe the new look all to her. _

_I see about Miss. Pyrope. I do recall seeing her a couple of times in the gardens. I understand how you feel; I could tell your heart was following someone else. But I am so flattered to know that I was on your mind. Even though we have had confusion of the heart, it hasn't made any confusion in my head. I do still love you with all my heart. Nothing can wash away the memory of you, Karkat. And I don't think anything will. _

_You must remember that I have no romantic feelings for Equius. Even though he shows love towards me, it is only friendship I want to give. I hated how we were forced to marry; I could only ever feel friendship towards him. I wish I could just lay in your arms too Karkitty. I understand that you're not good with writing letters and you don't have to write fancy for me heehee. I want you to be yourself, for that it what I fell in love with. I love you too Karkat Vantas.I ma desperate to see you again. _

_After you read this letter, look up at me. Hold me and kiss me. Please. I want to hold you and love you forever. I want to take away your pain and replace it with my love. I'd do anything to have you._

_All my love,_

_Your Nepeta. X_

A tear of happiness rolls down my face as I write my last words. Will he actually do the things I ache so badly for him to do? I try so hard to remember his smell, his touch and his general being. I wanted him all to myself and I was ecstatic to know that I _could_ get what I wanted.

A scary thought crosses my mind: what if we get caught? The Makaras would be so disappointed to know I am committing adultery. I would be shamed by all my family and friends, and Equius would be frowned upon for not realising what happened. But… he would protect me wouldn't he? He is my best friend after all. But what if he does actually truly love me? He would be so heartbroken, he would shun me too. Maybe after I send this letter, I could sit down with him and talk about it- ask him how he feels. That would be the wisest decision.

A knock on the door shakes me from my thoughts. "Lady Zahhak?" Its only Kanaya. I wipe the tears from my face and allow her inside the bedroom. She carries a small pile of washing and sets it on the bed and opens the wardrobe. While she hangs up my clothes she talks to me:"How are you, m'lady?" she asks politely.

"I'm quit alright thank you Kanaya. Just writing to an old...friend."

"That's nice Miss. However, you shouldn't lock yourself up in your bedroom all the time. May I ask how you spend your time up in here?" she asked carefully.

"Nothing much. Just dreaming and hoping…"

She finishes putting away the clothes and turns to me, kneeling by the chair I am sitting on. I quickly cover up my letter with my arm.

"Hoping for what Nepeta?" Kanaya always had a way with her words that made you give in to what she wanted- her motherly nature luring you to spill your most inner thoughts. But I denied her access to them, determined to keep my true love secret.

"Just a..um..good life is all. I'm hoping for everything with Equius. He is my husband after all."

"Ok," she says with an unsatisfied look." I'm here if you ever want to talk, you know Nepeta."

She leaves the room and the loneliness seeps back. I peer back at the letter I finished writing. Maybe I could deliver it today, I think to myself, but my thoughts are interrupted by the opening of the front door and Kanaya's cheery welcome I have come to love.

Equius is home.

Thinking it to be the right thing, I exit our bedroom and walk downstairs to greet him. The scent of the stables hits me straight away as I approach my strong friend.

"Hey Equius! How was work?" I cheerily ask. He's very sweaty and flustered so I guess he either had a hard day or he met someone who may have been a little too friendly.

"It was…busy. A lot of customers, which is always good"

"Of course" I say. He seems rather distant, for he walks past me and straight upstairs to our bedroom. He most likely wants to change out of his working clothes and possibly go for a wash or at least grab a towel.

He's halfway up the stairs when I realised I left Karkat's letter on the vanity open for him to see!

I grab at my dress and scrambled up the stairs to get there before Equius did. I rudely push straight pass him and break open the door. I grab the letter and fold it just in time to have Equius bolt through the door after me. He angrily slams the door behind him and faces me with an angry frown on his face.

"Why on earth did you do that Nepeta?! Were you never taught that it is rude to barge past people! How dare you act so rudely towards me, you should know your place!"

His angry words shake me and I am absolutely terrified. I've never seen this side of him before. Is this how he treats other civilians that are lower than him? I take a step back from him, tears forming in my eyes.

"I- I'm sorry, Equius.."

His face reforms into a blank, emotionless expression as he calms himself and realises what he has said. "No, I'm sorry Nepeta. I should not have shouted at you. I just have to remember that I'm not at work. I'm at home. I can't shout at you for doing something wrong."

"It's ok…" I shyly reply. I was still in shock though, and scared as to what my best friend may do.

"May I ask why you rushed up here so rudely though?"

My eyes grow wide and I struggle to think of an answer.

"Umm…. Oh! The vanity was messy so I came to clean it up so you wouldn't get stressed at the untidiness."

"You didn't have to do that Nepeta. But thank you."

He hugs me and I return it, feeling the paper in my hands. 'Phew', I think, 'I was almost a gonner then!'

He leaves the embrace and informs me that he is going for a bath and assistance form Kanaya was not needed. I let him leave before tucking the letter into my bosom for safe keeping.

'tomorrow' I think to myself.

* * *

Feeling the warm bath water wash around me, I think back to my meeting with Aradia. Her loving, dark eyes and her flowing black hair was the type you couldn't resist not to touch. She was so kind and sweet, unlike her sister who just wanted to meet me for my money. She seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say and I started to feel myself falling in love with her. Dammit.

If only she was a higher class, then I could demolish my marriage to Nepeta and marry Aradia. But that is too horrible, I could never do that to Nepeta. For she loved me, didn't she?

Guilt was the only thing I felt in my entire being but Aradia's image would not leave my mind. Her smile haunted my thoughts and her touch burned my hand.

I had to meet her tomorrow, in secret. I wanted to know everything about this gorgeous girl even if it was wrong.


	11. It's A Date

I stood by the racecourse entrance, searching around for the man I was supposed to be meeting. I hoped Equius had not forgotten about it. The calm breeze dances with my long hair- making me wish I had put it up in a bun or something.

I had to admit, when I first met , I just thought he would be another rich snob who thought they could do whatever they liked (especially to my sister and I).

But after our conversation yesterday afternoon, he seemed a nice and honest man. He was respecting and kind. I hoped that wasn't just a mask. If that was the real Equius Zahhak, then I had fallen in love. I check my wrist watch again, the time being 2:15. It was a Sunday so I knew that the racecourse wouldn't be open.

Adjusting my hair and my dress for the last time, I looked around for Equius. Much to my luck, I saw him in the distance approaching. He was wearing a smart blue waistcoat and a black blazer over him. He had tamed his long hair into a ponytail and he seemed to be constantly fiddling with something in his hands. It could be a pocket watch.

As he came closer, I realised that it was indeed a pocket watch- the chain coming from a hidden pocket in his blazer. When he notices me, he smiles widely, hopefully happy to see me.

I walk up to him and he hugs me, making my cheeks glow.

"Good afternoon, Aradia. I apologize for my lateness; it is never polite to keep such a lovely lady waiting."

Blushing, I replied, "Oh, don't worry about it Sir-"

"Please, don't call me Sir, Aradia. Call me Equius. Please"

We went for a walk, just around the race track and back, talking about our lives and experiences. I didn't utter a word about my mother's profession or about my father. I did say however about my sister's profession though:

"Equius, may I ask you a question?"

"Of course, Aradia."

"You have to answer it truthfully. Swear to me that you will only speak the truth." I said, holding my hands to my heart.

"I swear to you, Aradia. I swear on my life and to the Lord that I will only answer as much truth as there is."

"Ok. Do you realize what my sister is? What she does?"

A noticeable lump formed in his throat.

"Does she earn what they call…dirty money?" he carefully asked.

"Indeed. She is a prostitute. It disgusts me. I am completely against it. My question is: Do you want to know me so you can easily…use my sister's services? Or to make me do the same?"

I stared at Aradia as if she just uttered her whole question in an alien language.

"WHAT? Of course I wouldn't Aradia! I don't know what kind of men you have met through your sister, but I am not like them. Not like them at all! I have no interest in using the services a prostitute offers. I am an honest man and even in my wildest dreams I would never do such a lowly thing. You can trust me."

I gripped the Japanese woman's delicate hands in my own rough ones and held them. I stared into her beautiful dark eyes as I spoke- honestly and truthfully. The full truth. She looked at me, slightly bewildered at my confession. Tears formed in her eyes but I would not let them fall.

I wrapped her in my arms, embracing her warm body. I let her cry a little on my shoulder, my heart breaking at every small sob she let out.

"I don't want to be like her Equius! I don't want to be like Damara! I want to continue my clockwork but I'm so scared. So scared I'll come home and she'll force me into it!"

I comforted her, ensuring that she knew she could trust me and that I would always be there for her. My heart swelled with sadness. Why did Earth allow such beautiful creations to feel pain and sorrow?

She soon lifted her head from my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. "I'm so sorry for that I-"

"Don't be sorry, my dear. It' just a shame to see you so sad. I'm always here for you, you understand?" She nodded her head and smiled.

I smiled back, making her chuckle by pulling faces and purposely dancing terribly with her.

We danced along the race track, twirling eachother round until our feet left strange marks and patterns in the ground.

However, it was soon time to go.

"Aradia, I must leave. My…maid will be worried for my wellbieng."

"I understand, Equius. I've had such a fun time with you today. It's nice to talk to you about such intimate things."

"Anytime you need me Aradia, I'm here for you." I smile. "Please, allow me to walk you home."

"I would love to accept your offer, but I can't. I don't want Damara thinking the worst." Aradia sighed sadly.

"Understood. Can I meet you again?"

"Of course! Maybe same time next week?"

"It's a date."

As we both went our separate paths, I couldn't help but turn back to watch the man I secretly loved walk away. Maybe after a few dates, I thought, I could ask him to be my boyfriend. I loved him so much. Maybe he felt the same way?

But when he turned back and waved to me, something metallic flashed on his left hand.

Or more specifically, his wedding finger.

It was a ring.

My heart sank, my smile washed away and my dream shattered.

He was taken.


End file.
